Self destructive behavior is the act of hurting yourself. Applying pain, hurt and suffering to yourself is a self destructive behavior. Self destructiveness is the…
Last night I was listening to ‘one of us’ by ABBA my long time favorites (when ever I play the album all I think about is my dad) but last night all I could think of was a time long before now. My teenage hood. I remembered playing this song then and dreaming of Love and couldn’t stop myself from laughing loudly at this thought
Don’t worry I’ll tell you why…(laughs)
I remember laying on my bunk bed holding my Express music phone(smart phones were nonexistent at that time), then I hit the play button and reduced the volume. Wanting it to sound calm and smooth. Wanting it to resonate through my ears and emotions. I remembered closing my eyes to the rhythm , feeling every bit of emotion and dreaming along. Wondering how love was even more sweeter than they sang. Wondering if there was something special about them that they could feel this big thing called LOVE . Amazed at how lucky they were to be loved so deeply. Wishing mine would be so spectacular. Wishing mine would be like the heavens they sing it to be. Fantasizing how holding his hands would send electric shocks to my heart like the song said. Imagining how sweet my first kiss would be. Playing the scenes of how our swim together would be heavenly. Dreaming of how his baritone voice would take all my pain away. Praying I could experience what they sang about. Eager to fall in love and drown in its bliss.
Finally, I fell in love after growing up… I was in Love!! Yay!! But….
I didn’t experience the butterflies in my stomach like I dreamt of. No electric shocks even after I held the hand for straight two hours – hahaha. My feet did not fail me even after I looked into his eyes. The first kiss was as weird and annoying as I never thought it would be. Ah!
And then I fell out of love and fell in love again with another person. I mean wasn’t love supposed to be forever with the best person. So what happened?
I can’t even remember how many times I’ve fallen in love, yet why is mine different from the one they sing about and the one they show us in the movies?
Maybe its like the loud saying “Love na Scam” 😂(in Nigerian voice)
Back to now
After realizing how naive I and other girls my age was back then. I couldn’t stop laughing at our stupidity and ignorance. Now we have all grown wiser and bigger and we know that yes love is not a scam but only love is.
Now we know that love makes us come to you but it takes more than love to make us stay with you. Love is tough. Love is supposed to be more than just emotions. Now we know that God is bigger and he is love. He is the biggest expression of love. Our love for him makes us love deeply and passionately.
Love with commitment
Love with bravely
Love with purpose
Love with God……because
God is Love.
Just love is never enough.
What misconceptions about love and relationships did you have growing up? And have you found love? I’d love to here all your responses in the comment section below.
P/S – never thought I’ll be able to share this silly part of my story with anyone but here I am, doing just that. I need a hug…