Guys I’m so overwhelmed by your responses on the last post on fears. And I’m particularly happy that each day we are taking baby steps in overcoming those fears.
First off today’s post is coming from a place of sadness. In fact sadness is an understatement. Anger is the word because what i found out made me so vexed in my spirit that i couldn’t stop my self from talking about it, to blow off some steam or find a solution to this impending problem.
Yesterday i was having a conversation with some friends and we talked about a number of things when my friend told us something shocking and unexpected.
“You remember that cleaning lady that has been working as a cleaner in that two story building office plaza?” She asked.
“That endowed woman?”
“Exactly, you remember.” She said, remembering her lovely shape.
“You know her monthly salary is fifteen thousand?”
“Yes i know. I really wish her salary would be increased”. I said wistfully.
“Anyways, the gist is that, last week she came running to me with pure shock on her face with tears. I became so scared that i didn’t want to hear what she had to say because i thought maybe she would say someone died. But i still stayed to listen to what she had to say. Chika the next thing she said drove me mad.” She said with a look of annoyance.
“Tell me.” I replied without wasting time.
“She told me that her husband took her credit card without her knowledge, went to the ATM and wiped her account. He withdrew all her savings, a total of one hundred and fifty thousand naira. Money she had been saving for almost two years” She said finally.
“What!” I shouted in shock. It was so unexpected. “Jeez! Is he mad? What did he use the money for? I asked angrily hoping that maybe…just maybe he invested it or something close to that.
“That’s the annoying part Chika. She said the foolish man didn’t come back that day and came home the next day with one carton of noodles, and a bunch of plantain”. She laughed out loud.
“Are you kidding me”, i laughed so hard that i laughed to the point of no return. “He is a psychopath and…
* * *
The truth is i had a lot of cuss word for that man. I mean i couldn’t imagine what that woman must be going through. And how i would react if i was the one in her shoes.
Firstly, you’re (the man) not doing anything for the family as a husband should, then the only thing you could do was drain my account because i was foolish enough to tell you my credit card pin.
Secondly , you spent my hard earned money on something meaningless with no regards to my feelings and no respect for me as a person. It was a dreadful thing to do.
I put my self in her shoes and thought of what i would do to him.
I thought of handing him over to the police so they could torture him for two days while i watched.
I thought of shredding all his cloths and belongings to pieces.
I thought that if that would happen then he would have to leave me for good.
My friend thought of giving him sleeping pills and when he has dozed off, she’ll tie him up and give him the most painful beating of his life.
(laughs) all this sounds hilarious but its not funny at all. And the sad truth is that he is not her husband, he never engaged her nor did he marry her. They are not husband and wife.
So why then is she still in such a toxic relationship? I don’t know if its because she has three children with him. A question no one knows the answer to. A question only her can answer.
“That you have children with a man doesn’t mean that man is meant to be your husband”
I still say that the problem and the solution lies in the hands of we women. We have a choice to settle for the best or settle for second best. If you don’t see the best that you deserve why stay?. If you cant endure why stay? If you cant dare to take action why stay? If you cant find the key to your man, why stay? If you cant find out what works best for you both, why stay?
I’ve been an independent woman for a long time, in fact i had a dad who trained me to me independent. And i value friendship. Up until yesterday i used to say; i will marry a man that has unending passion for God, loves me, and respect me as the woman in his life. A smart and hardworking man that even if he is not rich, can have enough to take care of me. But now after seeing and hearing what just happened to this lady.
I change my mind. Oh Yes! I change my mind
I want a stinking rich man. I want a wealthy man. I refuse a man who lies on a bed of laziness. I want a millionaire , millionaire is not enough. A billionaire. I want the smartest, realest and coolest dude. This is what I’ve been screaming ever since yesterday. And i wont settle for less.
Lets call forth those things we want and they would be ours.
Sorry for the fowl words on this post, i just couldn’t stop them from flowing as i pour out my emotions and feelings.
Leave a comment by telling me if its right to tell your partner everything about you including your bank details. And what advice do you have for this lady.