Self destructive behavior is the act of hurting yourself. Applying pain, hurt and suffering to yourself is a self destructive behavior. Self destructiveness is the…
She woke me up that morning with the question “Chika why are you so fearless?”
I smiled thinking of how bold i was always speaking out my mind anywhere anytime and to anybody. How bold i was being independent. How bold i was even when lonely.
“Dear, I’m sorry i thought i was fearless but now i realize I’m not so fearless as you think”. I replied.
“Don’t say that Chiq, I know you”. She said softly.
“I know you did but so did i. I thought i knew myself so well but now i know nothing. I thought i wasn’t scared of anything. But I’m scared of snakes, i cant watch a movie that has a snake scene in it. I’m scared of doing things for myself so I’ll rather do for others. I’m scared of spending money on myself so I’ll rather spend it on others. I’m scared of rejection so i break up with my boyfriends after every three months. Do you want me to go on and on?” I breathed heavily.
“No! Its okay. Just relax Chika. I’m sorry. I’ll drop it for now but nothing can change how strong and bold you are no matter how long your list of fears may be. Remember that”. She said as a matter of fact. “Let me give you some space. Ill be back”. She walked out.
Ever noticed that our dreams are always planned in our head. How we want our date to go? How we want the weekend to play out? How we want the holidays to be well spent? How we want to do this for this and that? We plan that perfect picture in our head. We strategize in our head. We kick start in our head. We even visualize our victory, achievement and triumph in our head. We visualize the smile, the handshake also in our head. All in our head but not in reality.
When the time comes to put them down fear creeps in , it clouds all the victory we’ve already ascertain in our mind. We halt. We stop. We shake. We fidget.
What has really helped me conquer this is what i learnt recently “Fear is a risk and being fearless is also a risk” but what risk are you willing to take?
I decided ill take the risk of conquering fear and grabbing the victory that fear had denied me for so long than bowing down to fear and living with regrets for the rest of my life.
When fear tries stopping you from doing that which you want to do, that is the right time to do it. When fear says ‘wait’, starting immediately should be the next course of action. When fear says ‘don’t do it’ don’t hesitate, just simply do it.
So yesterday i watched THE NOTEBOOK Hindi movie (its a must watch movie of 2019. Check it out guys its great) and when the snake came to attack the children at school i held still, opened my eyes widely, with my hands shaking and watched every bit of it. I screamed so loudly, Whoop! I did it. I was so proud of myself that i had to pat my self on the shoulder ( you guys won’t understand i wished i did that earlier i wouldn’t have missed the snake scene at ‘witches of the east end TV series). It was a great accomplishment for me. And I’m glad i conquered one fear yesterday. So don’t hesitate. Just do it.
So what are your fears? And how do you plan on conquering them?
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