Self destructive behavior is the act of hurting yourself. Applying pain, hurt and suffering to yourself is a self destructive behavior. Self destructiveness is the…
For weeks now I’ve had withdrawal from blogging, writing contents, posting them and being active on all social media platform. It didn’t just happen all of a sudden, i was mugged. Due to that fact i decided to stay offline for a short period of time. I was dreading not writing, not sharing my experiences with the people around me and not being able to engage in conversations with the new friends I’ve made in the last few months. Even when i tried i just couldn’t. But something changed when i had an out of the blue conversation with a total stranger.
I hope you wont stay too sad about my disappearance and find the words on this electronic paper worth the wait.
We were both standing there for almost an hour, yet there was still no sign of a taxi. My friend was frustrated and i was irritated. The traffic was crazy and all taxi refused taking passengers. We were so tired of trying and getting no where that we practically started stopping every car that passed by. Finally one car stopped, and we were so relieved. On a normal day i would have been muttering ‘free ride’ to myself and giggling at the fact that my cab fare would be saved but that didn’t happen because it was not a normal day. We hopped in and thanked the man repeatedly, fortunately he was going our way, which was also an additional blessing.
We drove off, it was a long way home so instead of making myself awkward by sitting down quietly, i decided to talk to my friend about something important.
“Chi. I feel so bad for her, sometimes its more painful when you don’t have the power to do anything.” I said sadly about a lady we were familiar with that had been sick for weeks and her relatives turned a blind eye to her.
“My dear, its not an experience i would wish for anyone. The worst part was the way that woman insulted her publicly knowing she was very ill.” she replied looking worried.
“Exactly” i nodded in affirmation. “It doesn’t matter if what that woman ranted on was right or wrong, but it was neither the place, time nor manner to say all that. All she did was add more pain to the lady, which was totally uncalled for…the best thing would have been to find out about the status of her health presently and find a way to help her out, not add to her problems” i replied angrily.
We chatted for a while longer and he listened carefully from the steering while driving when he dropped a question.
“And her husband?” He asked.
I turned and looked at him. “Why would you ask that Sir?” I asked surprisingly.
“I asked because i have a feeling the husband, if there is one, is tangled in this whole mess.” He replied. We stared at him quietly because we knew what he just said was the truth even if it was just a guess.
“Yes.” I nodded honestly. He smiled subtly and shook his head as if he thought of something important but didn’t know weather to say it or not. “I wish things had been different for her.” I added wistfully.
“Things would be different for her if she acts on her priorities.” He said sternly
“How do you mean sir?” I asked curiously with a look that said i wanted to hear what he had to say. He looked like a man who had seen the heads and tails of life. He was obviously a smart and intelligent man. But i wasn’t prepared for what he said next. It was the most practical and real thing i had heard in a long time.
“You know what pretty young ladies”, we smiled at the complement. “I woke up one morning and called my wife. Every time i look at her i realize that she’s absolutely perfect for me”, We smiled and he continued. “When she sat down, i held her hand, faced her and told her; honey when the time comes that i can no longer give you the happiness you deserve, don’t fuss over it. Find that happiness yourself.”
Those words hit a nerve. I was smeared. I didn’t know what to say. I just stared at him blankly. He noticed we looked at him strangely and laughed out loud.
“You should see your faces, you look like confused children.” He said laughing and we laughed as well.
“But sir, how could you say that to your wife. You are her husband so her happiness lies in yours and you are supposed to make her life full of joy and bliss.” I said curtly.
“That is where you get it wrong. That I’m her husband doesn’t mean i can give her everything she wants. It only means thirty percent of her happiness lies in me but a whole seventy percent of her happiness lies in her hands. I don’t have the power to make her life filled with the best things and the best events. I’m only there to make life’s journey more easy, more bearable, more smooth and more secure for her. I can only give her what i have. I cant give her everything, but she can make everything as beautiful as she sees.” He said.
“Wow sir! You’ve blown my mind away. What you’ve just said is what every girl should hear.” I smiled.
“Yes. I would tell my sister the same thing anytime,” he said smiling. “Sometimes when we are with someone and we give him or her everything, we also want everything in return, but what we fail to understand is that a person cant always give you everything every single time; but they can give you what they have to the best of their capabilities, which is not wrong. What is wrong is being affected severely when we don’t get that in return”, We nodded solemnly. “So tell that lady that she should figure out what she really wants and make them her priorities. That would definitely give her peace and rest of mind, which would end up being the most effective medicine to her illness.” He added finally.”
Wow! What he said was absolutely correct. Because sometimes we tend to fulfill the desires of those around us at the cost of our peace and happiness, which almost doesn’t sit well with our mind. And when our mind become weak, our body automatically goes weak as well, which was what i realized.
“You’re right sir”, thinking of how his words had affected my life too; in a different way unknown to him.
“Sir i must say this has been a wonderful ride. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences with us.” I said thankfully.
“You’re welcome. I don’t know how it happened, i just couldn’t keep quiet. I hope we’ll hear a better story from that lady the next time you hear from her.” He said smiling.
“I hope so too.”
My friend dropped off first, i waved her goodbye. I dropped ten minutes later and waved at him frantically while he drove off. We may never meet again in this lifetime but the lesson learned would always be a part of my everyday life.
After that conversation i started writing again. I offloaded every word in my brain and just couldn’t stop. He made me realize that what i want, what gives me fulfillment and what gives me a sense of purpose should be at the top of the list.
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